Dear Christmas

Dear Christmas, 

I know you are so far but yet so close to us I wish you were here tomorrow. Please be good to me this year as I haven’t had an easy year. I’m going to New York City this year I have wanted to go there ever since I was a little girl. Christmas is my favourite time of year I just love it and always will. I can’t wait to experience all of the sights, smells and people in NYC as I need a break from my every day life. 

As I get older I care less and less about presents more about who I have around me to support and look out for me. Sometimes life can throw you massive obstacles that you would never think you could overcome. I have to admit this year was probably one of the worst years yet I have battled constantly with my anxiety and each day I think it’s getting better it proves me wrong. 

I am writing this imaginary letter because somewhere somehow I believe that this could be heard. I just want to have a good Christmas like I have had for the past 19 years. You may think this is silly me writing a letter like this because it’s for little kids right? Christmas is for everyone both old and young and I think I will always love it.

I hope you bring me a breath of life so that I can come back from New York refreshed and ready for 2016. This year has tested me in many ways and I have often broken down I could have done so much more with this year. Yet with all of the obstacles I have had put in place I think I have done pretty well for myself. 

There are many things I wouldn’t change about this year yet there are so many I would. From the beauty products I wasted money on and have never used to the friends I have let go. I am a different person to who I was last time this year yet I am still me in many ways. I hope that you bring me happiness, joy, laughter and maybe even love. Although that’s not my top priority finding myself again would be top. 

This year has taught me a lot and I believe I have found myself in many ways but also lost myself at the same time. I need to fix this anxiety problem because it will only cause me more problems in the future. How do you go about addressing a thing that many people think is “not a real problem”. I’ve tried many things to try and solve it and they each work for a short period of time until something happens where I’m pushed to my limits. 

All I want is a Christmas where I can enjoy the now and not the past or future. I want a Christmas where it snows so I can feel like a little girl once again. I want a Christmas where I don’t have to worry about other things I can just enjoy that wonderful feeling you get. I want to listen to Christmas songs on repeat all day every day until I get sick of them. 

So please Christmas be good to me as I really need it this year more than ever. I am now old enough to understand how thing’s work and having an amazing Christmas would really mean a lot to me. Even if it’s full of small gestures and not big ones I’d be grateful. 

Asia xo